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Too Tall

by Andrew Queen

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1.
Once upon a time in the deep dark woods Along came little Red Riding Hood She was carrying a basket of muffins and jam To have for tea with her dear old Gran Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? The Big Bad Wolf came a-sneaking by He found Little Red and he told her lies About a shortcut to Grandma’s off the path She could pick wildflowers and get there fast The wolf came a-knocking on Granny’s door Granny picked her slippers up from the floor The wolf burst in, Granny screamed in fright And he gulped her down in one big bite He looked in the mirror and combed his hair He put on Granny’s glasses and her frilly underwear He jumped under the covers of Granny’s bed And waited for the voice of Little Red Looks like big trouble for Little Red Riding Hood That wolf’s up to no good In the middle of the deep dark woods Looks like big trouble for Little Red Riding Hood In the middle of the deep dark woods My, my what great big eyes you’ve got Grandma Your ears are hairy, your teeth look scary Grandma I’m sorry but you really look a fright Dear, dear all the better to see and hear with Now sit right down and bring those goodies here if You’d like to join your Granny for a bite Just then Little Red spun around The wolf leapt out of bed in a single bound He slipped all over the hardwood floor And chased Little Red out the kitchen door She ran across the yard to the garden shed Picked up an axe, swung it above her head It wiggled and wobbled to and fro And landed with a clunk on the wolf’s big toe He hollered in pain - - it wasn’t very funny When a gurgling noise erupted from his tummy He hopped and he hollered - - he slobbered and slurped And out popped Granny with one big burp Granny scolded, “Shame on you!” The wolf said, “I was hungry. What was I supposed to do?” So they gave him a snack and asked him to stay To be Granny’s pet wolf till the end of her days Looks like no trouble for Little Red Riding Hood That wolf’s up to no good In the middle of the deep dark wood Looks like no trouble for Little Red Riding Hood In the middle of the deep dark wood
2.
She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!) She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!) She'll be coming around the mountain She'll be coming around the mountain She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!) She'll be riding six white horses when she comes (Whoa back!) We'll all go out to meet her when she comes (Hi babe!) She'll be wearing red pajamas when she comes (scratch, scratch!) She'll have to sleep with Grandma when she comes (snore) We'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes (Yum yum!) We'll all play hide and seek when she comes (Home free!) She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!) She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!) She'll be coming around the mountain She'll be coming around the mountain She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes (Choo choo!)
3.
I love boating. We have a great time. If you look in our boat you will find What you need for a safe trip Let’s get on the water and let’s not tip What you need for a safe trip Let’s get on the water and let’s not tip Lifejackets for everyone And just in case bring an extra one Zip it up Zip, Zip, up your lifejacket Zip it up Zip, Zip, up your lifejacket Zip it up And buckle it too Don’t rock the boat or fool around When the boat gets moving sit right down Sit down Rock, rock, don’t rock the boat Sit down Rock, rock, don’t rock the boat Sit right down And no horsing around If you take on water there’s no doubt You will need a bailer to bail it out Bail it out Scoop, scoop, scoop up the water Bail it out Scoop, scoop, scoop up the water Bail it out Bail it out Everybody needs a place to sit Don’t overload in case you tip You’ll tip Tip, tip, too many people You’ll tip Tip, tip, too many people You’ll tip Please don’t overload After dark you will need Lights on the boat so you’ll be seen Be seen Light, light, lights on the boat Be seen Light, light, lights on the boat Be seen When the sun goes down I love boating. We have a great time. If you look in our boat you will find What you need for a safe trip Let’s get on the water and let’s not tip
4.
Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then push this button with your right hand.” Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then turn this crank with your left hand.” Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then push this pedal with your right foot.” Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then move this lever with your left knee.” Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then hit this button with your hip.” Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “No.” “Then push this button with your tongue. Hello! My name is Joe. I’ve got a wife and a dog and a family. I go to work in a button factory And this is what happened to me. One day my boss came up to me and said, “Hey Joe! Are you busy?” I said, “Yes!”
5.
6.
Cinderella 04:14
It was long ago in a far away land A teenaged girl was feeling oh so sad Her two stepsisters were not any fun They were mean and lazy – all the chores were done by Cinderella – Ahhhhhhhh Cinderella – Ahhhhhhhh She washed the dishes and mopped the floors Scrubbed out the toilet and so much more She shoveled the driveway and mowed the lawn Her chores began at the break of dawn for Cinderella . . . The olde towne crier came a-ringing a bell He had an announcement and he had to yell, “The Prince will be throwing a fancy ball!” The invitation went out to all but Cinderella . . . Her stepsister said, “But you can’t go! You’re covered in soot from head to toe You don’t have a dress or dancing shoes So you’ll have to stay home. Oh boo hoo hoo Cinderella.” . . . She sat alone in a corner and cried When a tiny sparkle came flying inside It flew and flickered and glittered and grew Into a tiny godmother saying, “How do you do!” to Cinderella . . . With a few magic words and a wave of her wand Cinderella’s dirty torn rags were gone She had tiny glass slippers and a fancy gown And a horse and carriage to take her downtown - Cinderella . . . Cinderella was ready and raring to go But there was one last thing she needed to know At the stroke of midnight the spell is done There’ll be no more magic and no more fun for Cinderella . . . She made a big entrance at the palace door The Prince was standing on the ballroom floor He walked towards her with a steady gaze He took her hand and danced the night away with Cinderella . . .
7.
Glug, Glug 02:26
Glug, glug went the little green frog one day Glug, glug went the little green frog Glug, glug went the little green frog one day And they all went Glug, glug ahhhhh! But we all know frogs go ( Clap! ) La di da di da ( Clap! ) La di da di da ( Clap! ) La di da di da We all know frogs go ( Clap! ) La di da di da They don’t go Glug, glug ahhhhh! Hello! my baby, Hello! My darling, Hello! my ragtime gal. You set my heart on fire. Send me your love by wire! If you refuse me, Honey, you'd lose me, then you'd be all alone Oh darling, call me and send your love by phone.
8.
Mademoiselle, voulez-vous danser la bastringue, la bastringue? Mademoiselle, voulez-vous danser? La bastringue va commencer. . Oui, Monsieur, je veux bien danser la bastringue, la bastringue. Oui, Monsieur, je veux bien danser La bastringue si vous voulez. . Mademoiselle, il faut nous arrêter la bastringue, la bastringue. Mademoiselle, il faut nous arrêter Vous allez vous fatiguer! Non, Monsieur, je sais bien danser la bastringue, la bastringue. Non, Monsieur, je sais bien danser. Je suis prête à r'commencer! Mademoiselle, je n'peux plus danser, la bastringue, la bastringue. Mademoiselle, je n'peux plus danser, car j'en ai des cors aux pieds! Mais Monsieur, je veux plus danser la bastringue, la bastringue. Mais Monsieur, je veux plus danser. Je suis prête à r'commencer.
9.
Hi Dee Ho 03:04
Hi de, Hi de, Hi de ho Wig-wig-wig-wig-waggedy wo Bop she-bop she-bop she-bo Reach up high and reach down low Hi de, Hi de, Hi de hee Wig-wig-wig-wig-waggedy wee Bop she-bop she-bop she-bee Flap your wings and shake your knees Hi de, Hi de, Hi de hi Wig-wig-wig-wig-waggedy why Bop she-bop she-bop she-by Wave your hands up to the sky Hi de, Hi de, Hi de hay Wig-wig-wig-wig-waggedy way Bop she-bop she-bop she-bay Twist your body in every way Hi de, Hi de, Hi de how Wig-wig-wig-wig-waggedy wow Bop she-bop she-bop she-bow That’s all folks now take a bow
10.
An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came an avalanche – Swoosh! Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came a St Bernard – Heh, heh, heh, heh! Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Heh, heh, heh, heh! Yodel-ay-hee-hee . . . An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came a mountain goat – Bahhhhh Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Heh, heh, heh! Bahhhhhhh! Yodel-ay-hee-hee . . . An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came a pretty girl – Mmmwah! Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Heh, heh, heh! Bahhhhh! Mmmwah! Yodel-ay-hee-hee . . . An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came an abominable snowman– Roarrrr! Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Heh, heh, heh! Bahhhhh! Mmmwah! Roarrrr! Yodel-ay-hee-hee . . . An old Austrian went yodeling on a mountain top high When along came a snowboarder– Gnarly dude! Interrupting his cry. And he went, Yodel–ay–hee-hee! Yodel–ay–hee–hoo! Swoosh! Heh, heh, heh! Bahhhhh! Mmmwah! Roarrrr! Gnarly dude! Yodel-ay-hee-hee . . .
11.
Hockey Song 03:16
So there I was, Paris, France Sitting in a cafe When this woman sitting next to me says, “Bonjour Monsieur, comment ca va?” And I said “Ca va bien, merci.” And she said “Monsieur, your French is very good. Where are you from? And I said, “I’m from Canada.” And she said, “Oh, Canada. Formidable! Do you play ze hockey?” And I said, “Do I play hockey?!?!” “Well I play Air hockey, Ball hockey, Barn hockey, Bubble hockey Field hockey, Floor hockey, Ice hockey, Kitchen hockey Road hockey, Roller hockey, Table hockey, Twist hockey And I play hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, ….. Hockey all the time. Take Shots!” (Clap hands with ‘slap shots’) So there I was, Munich, Germany. Octoberfest, wiener snitzel, apfel strudel. This guy came up to me and said, “Guten tag. Wie gehts?” And I said, “Hey. How’s it going?” And he said, “Where do you come from?” And I said, “I’m from Canada.” And he said, “Aussgesseichnet! ( That’s German for “cool” !) You come from Canada. Spielts du Hockey?” And I said, “Do I play hockey?!?!” “Well I play Air hockey, Ball hockey, Barn hockey, Bubble hockey Field hockey, Floor hockey, Ice hockey, Kitchen hockey Road hockey, Roller hockey, Table hockey, Twist hockey” “And I play hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, ….. Hockey all the time. Take Shots!” (Clap hands with ‘slap shots’) So there I was, down under in Australia. This guy came up to me and said, “G’day mate. How ya goin’?” And I said, “I’m doing all right!” And he said, “Say, where are ya from, anyway?” And I said, “I’m from Canada.” And he said, “Too right! Say if you’re from Canada, do you play hockey?” And I said, “Do I play hockey?!?!” “Well I play Air hockey, Ball hockey, Barn hockey, Bubble hockey Field hockey, Floor hockey, Ice hockey, Kitchen hockey Road hockey, Roller hockey, Table hockey, Twist hockey” “And I play hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, ….. Hockey all the time. Take Shots!” (Clap hands with ‘slap shots’)
12.
Alouette 02:47
Alouette, gentille Alouette Alouette je te plumerai Je te plumerai la tête Je te plumerai la tête Et la tête, et la tête Alouette, Alouette O-o-o-o-oh Alouette, gentille Alouette Alouette je te plumerai Je te plumerai les yeux Je te plumerai les yeux Et les yeux, et les yeux Et la tête, et la tête Alouette, Alouette O-o-o-o-oh Alouette, gentille Alouette Alouette je te plumerai Je te plumerai le bec Je te plumerai le bec Et le bec, et le bec Et les yeux, et les yeux Et la tête, et la tête Alouette, Alouette O-o-o-o-oh Alouette, gentille Alouette Alouette je te plumerai Je te plumerai la barbe Je te plumerai la barbe Et la barbe, et la barbe Et le bec, et le bec Et les yeux, et les yeux Et la tête, et la tête Alouette, Alouette
13.
14.
The other day I met a bear A great big bear a way up there I looked at him. He looked at me I sized up him. He sized up me And so he said, “Why don’t you run? I see you ain’t got any gun.” And so I ran away from there But right behind me was that bear Ahead of me I saw a tree A great big tree. Oh glory be The nearest branch was ten feet up But I thought I’d jump and trust my luck And so I jumped into the air But I missed that branch away up there Now don’t you fret. Now don’t you frown ‘Cause I caught that branch on the way back down That’s all there is. There ain’t no more Unless I meet that bear once more But then I met that bear again I shook his paw and now we’re friends

about

People big and small can't help but sing along with Andrew's silly lyrics and wacky action songs. A grand cast of folk-lovin' musicians have come together to create an album you'll want to play again and again. High energy, big laughs and tall tales... Andrew dishes up one super-sized order of fun!

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released February 1, 2010

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Andrew Queen Ontario

Andrew "Too Tall" Queen is one of the tallest talents in Canada’s family-folk music scene, engaging big and little folks with his animated delivery of original fairy tale songs and twisted traditionals.

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